Lately I read a book called—“Lead A 100% Stress-Free Life”. It enumerated various ways to avoid stressful situations. It set me thinking. Is it possible that we never have stress in our lives?
Can we forever wipe out this force called stress? Small children are weighed down more by their school bags and studies rather than their own weight! There is the stress of cut-throat competition all around, The youth are bogged down by the need to go for higher education, there is the stress for securing jobs and employment, Housewives have to manage with a shoe-string budget, Fathers are worried about their daughters’ alliances, Employees are tense over shuffling and job cuts, Old people pulled down by age related illnesses, The list goes on and on thereby reflecting a world which is not free of stress and tension.
Each one of us is worked-up at some point of time or the other. Every human being, in any circumstance, is bound to face it, inevitably.
Visualizing a stress - free life is the biggest hurdle in the way of a peaceful life! So, instead of running after a mirage, our earnest endeavor should be:
1. How to minimize the intensity of stress
2. How to uproot the causes & reasons of stress!!
The first and foremost thing that we have to accept is that things don’t work out the way always as we want them to, ever in our favour. We have to encounter a mixed bag of incidents which would be both, unpleasant as well as favorable. Feel delighted when showered with God’s mercies and shed a tear or two when mishaps and miseries befall you!
Do not try to put your emotions on leash, do not chain them, they are meant to flow and sway! Curbing your emotions and sentiments would fill you with unwanted tensions.
It is usually advised in the books to keep a cheerful countenance even in the face of difficulties. Somehow I do not agree to this. If you feel like crying over something occasionally then what is the point in avoiding that? An artificial laugh is much more pitiable than a genuine sorrow. What is advisable is to let the heart have its way; it will relax your nerves, and lighten your spirits.
Strong emotions should not be suppressed. Do not allow artificiality to enter your system. Personally I feel that the most practical way to handle stress is to assess the situation logically and speculate over the causes. If the reason is under your control, then cast aside that reason. And if the reason is beyond you, then do not give it an after thought. In that situation, try to be cool-headed and think:
1. Which conditions can you change and mould. (Changeable)
2. Which of them, you can’t. (Unchangeable)
If you are apprehensive and troubled about the unchangeable, then your stress factor is definitely going to mount up, because you cannot amend or alter the unchangeable.
Suppose you have a marriage ceremony in your house after two days and you did not imagine even in your wildest dreams that it would rain. To your utter surprise, it starts raining. Now if you begin to curse the nature, your stress is bound to increase on something which is beyond your control. What you need to do is to find ways & means to fight this adversity.
In any stressful situation, I think about:-
1. Those assignments in the given situation which I can master, and take charge of them with total responsibility.
2. Things beyond my control are side-tracked and I do not deplete my creative energies over them.
WAYS TO HANDLE STRESS
Lessens when shared, mounts up when curbed!
Usually people hide the reasons of their stress from others. They do not want others to get perturbed because of them. They prefer that others do not get to know their personal affairs nor their shortcomings .They feel that if they are undergoing a rough patch, others might think of them as incapacitated and weak. The inevitable outcome is that such people feel strangled because of their tensions. They feel suffocated as the stress has no outlet. It keeps growing within. In such situations either they are bound to take a wrong decision or a step which hurts on self respect.
A better option would be to share the problems with the members of your family, close friends and your spouse. Communication helps in easing out. As the process of relaxation begins, you are able to think logically and coherently. Answers to problems begin taking shape. Basically stress puts a stop to the positive attitude of the thought process. When you begin exchanging your views and ideas with others, sometimes their advice miraculously offers a solution. This enables you to develop the urge to search for the correct answer. Certain facts which you overlook unknowingly also come to the forefront.
As a doctor, I’d like to tell you something about a wound. Any infection in the body leads to pus formation and pain. It gets inflamed and the pain increases. Medicines are ineffective. In such cases, the doctor makes an incision, and immediately the pus flows out. The patient finds instant relief and medicines to get effective. The moral is - give way to stress and pressure. Share the problems. Do not keep them bottled up inside.
Pay attention to the behavior
Usually our actions and words reflect the stress we undergo. We get irritated quickly, are flustered and prone to making more mistakes. This further leads to more stress. For all this we sometimes have to pay a heavy price. To take charge of any situation we have to exercise patience towards controlling our behaviour. In unfavourable situations, dishing out irritation and throwing tantrums at your friends and family would serve no purpose; rather you would lose some important relationships and aggravate the tensions already existing. Unknowingly you would be damaging a lot more than you could imagine of.
Stop - Take A Break - Then Think Again
If you find yourself in a fix and think that there is no way out, then just simply wait. Hold on for a while and take a break. It will require some efforts, some extra labour but try to disentangle yourself from the root cause of stress. Meet your mentor or closest friend, watch your favourite movie, listen to soul stirring songs. May sound impractical, but it is time tested. Now, after a while, rethink about the causes and channels which you haven’t touched hitherto. Try to think with an unprejudiced mind, bias-free. Put yourself in the shoes of others. Be stoic. Don’t swerve. I am pretty sure, you will find the way.
Prayer and Meditation
I have come across staunch atheists who, in times of crises, remember God, the Almighty. When we pray, or concentrate, then we establish a link with our soul and God too. A strange but satisfying peace envelopes our heart.
I believe that prayers are answered, they rarely go unheeded. Even you must have experienced miracles in this world. The truth is, these miracles are beyond the realm of logic.
Whenever I converse with God, I share the tiniest of pleasures and the biggest of sorrows with Him. I always feel that He whispers in my ears, “Do not worry, I am with you.” Have faith in God, believe in Him and keep working. Concentration and meditation work wonders in alleviating stress. We as Indians should be very proud since our entire culture is holding strong on the pillars of spirituality and meditation. Our sages and seers have blessed us with these extraordinary skills.
Osho, Shri Shri Ravishankar, Deepak Chopra etc have been instrumental in spreading spiritualism worldwide. If you want to beautify your way of living, start reading books on spirituality & meditation, it makes a drastic change in your ways of thinking.
External Control
If you have been successful in keeping a control over yourself to an extent, then you must start trying to check and modulate external circumstances and mould them accordingly. You must concentrate only on those things which you deem can be changed. Do not compromise in efforts. Have no prejudices or preconceived ideas already. Try to explore all possible remedies & solutions. When you keep your cool and maintain composure, then only you start getting help from external sources. The negative forces outside will then slowly recede.
